Two Groundhogs, Two Forecasts — My Bet’s On Staten Island Chuck!

Coronavirus Groundhog 2021 by Rick McKee, | Groundhog Flu 2018 by Rick McKee, The Augusta Chronicle
Coronavirus Groundhog 2021 by Rick McKee, | Groundhog Flu 2018 by Rick McKee, The Augusta Chronicle

Improving virus and economy plus tons of political schadenfreude point to a brighter future

Who knew the nation had more than one marmot meteorologist? While Punxsutawney Phil always steals the spotlight on Groundhog Day, there’s a rival rodent in New York City called Staten Island Chuck, who’s actually a better predictor of winter forecasts and hasn’t gotten his due props.

Where's your dang mask? by John Darkow, Columbia Missourian
Where’s your dang mask? by John Darkow, Columbia Missourian

In a live-streamed, unattended Covid-safe event in Punxsutawney, Pa this morning, Phil slumbered out of his hovel and saw his shadow, thereby predicting another six weeks of winter. However groundhog Chuck emerged from his winter den at the Staten Island Zoo this morning and did not see his shadow, calling for an early spring.

That Chuck’s forecast involved a wee bit of controversy — his emergence streamed on the zoo’s Facebook page appears to have been pre-recorded — is neither here nor there, because Chuck is apparently the better forecaster after 40 years of his own predictions.

And since we get to choose which groundhog to put faith in, I’m going with Chuck and using his early spring forecast as a metaphor for life beyond the weather for the next six week — because, well, why not? Here’s why I think things are looking up for America …

Covid numbers are decreasing and vaccine news improves

Yes, Coronavirus is still our number one threat exacting a horrific toll on its victims, our healthcare workers and society. And yes the vaccine rollout is spotty at best. But for the third week in a row the number of new Covid-19 cases has fallen in the U.S. and globally and we’ve learned the vaccines at our disposal are still very effective against the mutated variants. The Biden administration actually has a strategy to handle the vaccine distribution and just announced it will begin shipping vaccines directly to pharmacies. We are past the peak infection rate from the December-January holiday spree and many many more of us will be vaccinated by the time Passover and Easter roll around.

The economy is poised for a comeback even without a new forthcoming stimulus plan

The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office predicted the U.S. economy will recover faster than previously expected from the pandemic recession in a forecast released yesterday. This is good news even if it does give Republicans more ammunition to pare down the stimulus package the Biden administration wants to pass. And while they would like the deal to be bi-partisan, Democrats finally have the votes needed to pass some form of economic aid to disaffected workers and cities and states neglected by the previous administration.

Political villain schadenfreude is producing dopamine rapture for over half the country

It’s true. In a karmic streak with no signs of stopping, the universe is throwing so much shade at our favorite political villains I’ve cut down on my wine consumption drastically.

Marjorie Taylor Greene by Adam Zyglis, The Buffalo News, NY | Marjorie Taylor Greene by Taylor Jones,
Marjorie Taylor Greene by Adam Zyglis, The Buffalo News, NY  |  Marjorie Taylor Greene by Taylor Jones,

Repulsive MTG is now the face of the Republican Party

Margarine I Can't Believe You Haven't Resigned by The Lincoln Project
Margarine I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Resigned by The Lincoln Project

Let’s begin with MTG, that crazy new Q-Anon Republican Rep from Georgia, Marjorie Taylor Greene. Social media, pundits, cartoonists and even some lawmakers with scruples have been calling out all her bullshit beliefs and dick-moves like: being a worshiper of QAnon conspiracy theories about Democratic pedophile rings and Jewish space lasers causing California wildfires; claiming the 2018 Parkland, Fla school shooting was a “false Flag operation along with surfaced video showing her harassing one of the student survivors; being a rabid Trump supporter and proponent of The Big Lie with culpability inciting the Jan. 6 Capitol Riot … this is not an inclusive list and more like the tip of the iceberg, as she frantically scrubs her social media posts while more damning evidence about her nature emerges.

No doubt MTG is enjoying and fundraising off this new notoriety. But the bigger gift that will keep on giving through the 2022 midterms and beyond goes to Democrats, who have now made her the face of the Republican Party. It remains to be seen if House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy can maneuver her off the Education and Budget committees this week. It was reported, while he was at Mar-a-Lago doing some serious ass-kissing to the former twice-impeached worst president of all time, that he would be having a chat with her.

Rudy Giuliani is faced with TWO lawsuits because he never learns

Dominion Voting Systems is suing Rudy Giuliani for $1.3 billion for falsely stating its voting machines changed Trump votes to Biden votes. This was a cornerstone of Giuliani’s Kraken defense of Trump and their proliferation of The Big Lie that Trump won the 2020 election in a landslide and Biden stole the win via voter fraud. (Not and not.) Hours after the lawsuit was filed last week Giuliani admitted Biden was president, as if that would make it all go away.

But not one to learn from his mistakes, Giuliani then went on to falsely state that the Jan. 6 insurrection at the Capitol by Trump supporters was organized by a person with ties to The Lincoln Project (TLP), a formidable anti-trump political action committee. TLP swiftly announced it would sue Giuliani for defamation unless the fallen NYC mayor retracts his statement fully and apologizes to the PAC by a deadline of tomorrow Feb. 3, 2021, so we shall see …

MyPillow Guy, threatened with Dominion lawsuit, lost not one but TWO Twitter accounts

Pillow Talk by Steve Sack, The Minneapolis Star-Tribune, MN
Pillow Talk by Steve Sack, The Minneapolis Star-Tribune, MN

And last but not least is my favorite nemesis MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell, a pillow salesman and top echelon MAGA foot soldier, who still insists Trump won the presidential election. Last month Dominion Voting Systems demanded Lindell remove specific tweets alleging its machines altered votes in favor of Biden, or it would sue the Minnesota CEO. The issue is now a moot point, however, as Lindell lost his personal Twitter account Jan. 26 for repeatedly violating Twitter’s civic integrity policy. Some of Lindell’s many offending tweets included calling for Trump to issue martial law to overturn the election and continuously pushing The Big Lie about a stolen election.

MyPillow sales have since plummeted and retailers like Bed, Bath & Beyond, Kohl’s, Wayfair, JCPenny and supermarket chains H-E-B and Kroger announced they would no longer sell the MyPillow products due to the CEO’s reprehensible behavior.

Undeterred, however, Lindell soldiered on and attempted to circumvent Twitter’s ban by using his corporate account before it was permanently suspended yesterday. One of Lindell’s last tweets sent from that account this past weekend addressed Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey:

“This was the post @jack was upset about when he canceled @realmikelindell! @Jack I know you are tied into the election fraud! You are so afraid of being found out! So many are looking forward to you being brought to justice!”

And just like that MyPillow Guy was banished to Twitter hell along with Donald Trump, who also tried to evade Twitter’s ban of his personal account by using the official @POTUS and other campaign accounts before Twitter did the world a solid and shut that shit down.

Some say cancel culture, I say curing culture. And don’t forget … karma’s a bitch.



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About Olive America 69 Articles
Olive is the founder and editor of Cartoon State, a progressive blog that explores the drollery of U.S. politics in the age of Trumpism.

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