Buckle Up Kids, Democracy’s In for a Bumpy Ride!

Find Me Votes by Ed Wexler, CagleCartoons.com
Find Me Votes by Ed Wexler, CagleCartoons.com

An increasingly desperate, delusional and dumb-as-duck president kicks off historic week in Washington with criminal phone call caught on tape.

Oh God, it’s only Monday.

With 16 days to go until his ouster, Donald Trump once again stars in a sh*t show of his own making, a penultimate, Red Wedding episode that will end predictably but not without substantial carnage.

Episode “Criminal Call” began yesterday when The Washington Post reported on a (even by Dotard standards) shocking phone call Trump had with Georgia’s Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger on Saturday. The president begged, bartered and berated Raffensperger to manufacture enough Trump votes to overturn Biden’s win there two months ago. Trump was aided and abetted in this criminal shakedown by his chief of staff Mark Meadows and conservative attorney Cleta Mitchell, who both appeared on the call.

Raffensperger, a Republican, has been in the president’s crosshairs since the election. And up until Saturday, he’d successfully ducked 18 attempts of Trump trying to reach him on the phone. The aim of the hour-long conference call was Trump insisting the secretary “find” out of thin air 11,780 Trump votes and overturn the election.

“So look. All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have because we won the state.”

Trump also told Raffensperger, whose attorney was also on the call, “there’s nothing wrong with saying that, you know, that you’ve recalculated.”

Raffensperger largely listened throughout Trump’s 62 minutes of mostly incoherent rambling. But the secretary did attempt to fact-check Trump’s erroneous numbers and pushed back on his wild and debunked conspiracy theories about voting machine tampering, suitcases full of ballots and dead people voting en mass.

The problems with Trump’s strong-arm tactic are myriad, not the least of which is that Georgia’s thrice-counted election results, which have withstood numerous failed court challenges, have already been certified for Biden. But in Trump’s fantasy world, there is still a smidge of time before Congress formally counts the electoral votes on Wednesday** where he thinks a mafia-style shakedown like this can work.

(**This normally mundane procedure, where the sitting Vice President formally counts and accepts the winning electoral votes, is set to become a spectacle provoked by about 150 House and Senate Republicans who plan to object to the official count and force “debate” on their chamber floors — a traitorous melodrama for grandstanding MAGA loyalists which will only slightly delay the inevitable Biden certification. I have lost track of how many times Biden has won this election.)

Trump Criminal Call to GA Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger
Trump tells GA Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger other states “will be flipping to us very shortly.”

So let’s live inside Trump’s head for just a minute (just a minute, I promise) and you have to wonder else has been up his sleeve. Because in the ante-universe where Georgia’s state election win can fraudulently be re-packaged for Trump, that only gives the liar-in-chief a mere 16 more electoral votes. Biden fairly and squarely and without dead people voting, won 306 electoral votes to Trump’s 232, and the magic number was 270. So if we add Georgia’s 16 EC votes to Trump’s 232 we only get 248 — still shy of 270, no?

Perhaps there’s a clue to Trump’s strategy where he claims in the call that other battleground states are back in play.

“I mean there’s turmoil in Georgia and other places. You’re not the only one I mean we have other states that I believe will be flipping to us very shortly.”

Again, the quest is impossible, all states have certified their electors, but it begs the question: what other state election officials has Trump Tony-Soprano-dialed this week or last? Reporters — actual journalists with inside sources — will you please find out?

Brad Raffensperger Tweet tells Trump "The truth will come out."
Brad Raffensperger tweet tells Trump “The truth will come out.”

It’s my theory that this sh*t show we’re now witnessing is because Trump, who received no satisfaction from his hour-long phone tirade on Saturday, thought it prudent to disparage Raffensperger in a tweet yesterday morning, prompting the secretary to turn over the call’s recording to The Washington Post.  This is the timeline:

  • Saturday, at an unknown time, Trump has the phone call with Raffensperger, who will not commit crimes to overturn Georgia’s election
  • Sunday at 8:57 a.m. Trump tweets that Raffensperger wouldn’t answer any of his voter fraud questions yesterday, saying Raffensperger “has no clue!”
  • Sunday at 10:27 a.m., a mere 90 minutes later, Raffensperger responded to Trump’s tweet by politely calling him a liar and saying “The truth will come out.”
  • Sunday at 1:26 p.m. WaPo posted it’s bombshell story online and included audio excerpts of the call
  • Sunday at 4:21 p.m. WaPo posted the full audio and a complete transcript of the entire 62-minute on its website

I conclude Raffensperger had had enough of the big bad wolf and saw a way to out the president for what he is — a washed-up, maniacal dotard trying desperately to cling to power.

Also the president is mentally ill and should be removed from office under the 25th amendment. This passage from Saturday’s call, equating crowd size to vote tally, demonstrates this perfectly:

“I think it’s pretty clear that we won. We won very substantially in Georgia. You even see it by rally size, frankly. We’d be getting 25-30,000 people a rally and the competition would get less than 100 people.”

(Editor’s note: I can say with 100% certainty that in no state during last year’s election did Trump ever amass a crowd approaching even 5,000 let alone six times that.)

But Trump won’t be removed by the cowardly leaders in his party. They are just hoping and praying to get through the next two weeks without Trump inciting civil war at home or World War III abroad.

Fasten your seatbelts everyone. We still have to get through tomorrow’s Georgia Senate run-offs (election results possibly not known for one or two days), Wednesday’s farcical congressional soap opera, and the descent of Proud Boys and MAGAturds on Washington, D.C. to commit f*ckery in the name of Trump loyalty.

Did I mention it’s only Monday?



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About Olive America 69 Articles
Olive is the founder and editor of Cartoon State, a progressive blog that explores the drollery of U.S. politics in the age of Trumpism.

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